I cracked open my eyes this morning at 7:30, and felt my nerves exploding inside my skull. Breathing through my nose was minimal, moving was like waking from hibernation, thinking was.....
So, naturally, I went back to sleep.
The joys of winter.
Five minutes later (which was really 10:00), I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom. Towel in hand, I stared at the shower contemplating whether or not I should make myself presentable for the day. Thinking about a test I hadn't studied for, I decided against it. I was just going to lock myself in my room until I floundered through the rest of the material, anyway, pausing only for sustenance and relief, and I had better get started.
On my way back to my room, I heard Anna, my roommate's, door creak open. Her botany class is at 8:00 am, and a look of shame was plastered all over her face. She had woken up, and resolved to stay in bed for the morning.
"You too?"
I guess it was just one of those days.
After a few hours of slaving away, my stomach couldn't take it any longer, and reminded me quite loudly that it needed to be nourished.
I considered the destitute state of my shelf in the fridge, and hoped I would have better luck with the pantry.
Goldmine: Mac N Cheese I had forgotten about!
"What the heck", I thought, and continued to relive a meal I frequently had as a child. That, and Mac N Cheese takes about 10 minutes total to prepare, so being the lazy deadbeat I was this morning, faster was better.
I called to Anna to see if she'd like to dine with me.
Seasoning the Mac N Cheese with salt and pepper, the two most common spices in a household cupboard, we were ready to dig into our gourmet meal.
Now, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is known for it's long shelf life, which is perfect for food storage, and starving college students that raid mom and dad's pantry when they visit home. However, our first bite into it seemed... wrong. Something was on the brink of being rancid and we weren't sure why.
I retrieved the macaroni box from the top of the garbage and looked at the expiration date:
March 21, 2007.
For all of you that don't want to do simple math at the moment, March 21, 2007 was over FIVE years ago. Folks, that means that when the mac and cheese was manufactured, the box was stamped with an expiration date which I'm guessing would be about a year from the time it was made.
5+1=6. SIX years. This box has been sitting on a shelf for approximately six years.
Amidst fits of laughter from both Anna and myself, Anna suggested we pray to bless the food that it wouldn't kill us. (I'm telling you. Lazy deadbeats. This sortof reminds me of the LDS movie, The RM. People are gathered for a barbeque, and one elderly gentleman is removing hamburger patties from the grill that are obviously raw. His wife notices that he plans to feed them to the guests and scolds him for not cooking them thoroughly. He then says, "That's why we bless it before we eat it!" ...Well said, grandpa.)
We said "amen" and both stared at the mac and cheese who's physical appearance hadn't in fact changed at all, but because of learning it's true identity, now seemed greener; more rank. Both of us gingerly picked up a forkful, made eye contact, and dropped the fork back into the bowl.
There was absolutely no way we could indulge.
No way.
That's how the 6 year old mac and cheese found a final resting place through the garbage disposal.
There are lessons to be learned from days like this:
1. Lazy days = lazy cooking. Sometimes, lazy is okay, but make sure your mac and cheese isn't overdue.
2. Blessing the food doesn't rid it of rotten.
Some thoughts to leave with you as you prepare your next meal:
